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November 2018
A Lack of Boundaries Invites
Disrespect
We’ve heard it a million times – “It all
starts with you” or “You create everything in your life.”
At
times it can feel frustrating to hear these truths, but the good
news is more people are understanding them. They are accepting that
what I do, say, think, and believe creates everything for me. It is
one of the reasons why mindfulness living is moving into the
mainstream.
What are boundaries and how do they relate to all
of this?
Boundaries help establish clarity by defining what
behavior – both from yourself and others - is acceptable. This also
defines what is best for you and establishes clarity to focus on
your priorities. These boundaries help inform your decisions and
what you allow from others.
Establishing boundaries like
these work best when used actively for discernment, decision making,
manifestation, and attracting respect. Without boundaries,
disrespect and manifestation contrary to your goals can more easily
enter the picture.
Living life without ‘active’ boundaries
communicates: “I don’t respect me.” “I do not feel good enough to
follow my feelings, as other people are better, smarter. I allow
others to treat me in negative ways. I allow them to control me. I
feel if I do not please others, something bad will happen. “
This is living as a victim. Maybe you aren’t doing what is best for
you in each moment, or aren’t communicating your needs with kindness
and firmness to others. It is how life can look when you don’t take
a stand for your boundaries or take a stand for yourself.
If
you are experiencing disrespectful behavior, I invite you to look
deeper.
1. Ask the inside of you, in a meditation state, what
belief is creating this pattern from childhood/earlier times. It
might be something like “people in this life hurt each other” or “I
am not valued, important, or worthy” or ”I observed or experienced
abuse in childhood, so I formed the belief that this is how it is
and I must live with it.”
2. Once you discover what the
belief is that you’ve programed inside of you, take the time to
transform and release it. I like to invite the violet fire energy to
help accomplish that.
3. Then affirm frequently, “I am a
person who is respected. I am valued. I am worthy of respect from
myself and others.”
It is important to establish and
communicate boundaries for yourself. If a lack of boundaries invites
disrespect, then established boundaries are ‘respect in action’
since actions speak louder than words. It is important to create
boundaries using the wisdom of your heart. When you decide through
that wisdom what is acceptable and most important to you – you
express those concepts by living them. Each time you communicate
your boundaries and use them for your decisions – you are being an
expression of your authentic self.
Once you create
boundaries, stick with them. If you decide that you are worthy of
respect, for example, begin by no longer beating yourself up. Put
your boundaries in motion both with how you treat yourself and how
you allow others to treat you. How you treat yourself attracts the
same action from others. It is a pivotal way to communicate your
boundaries and reinforce that people in your life will treat you
with respect. Be consistent. Don’t wobble and allow disrespect in
your life from yourself or others. You are a divine spiritual being.
You are worthy of respect from yourself and others.
Please
remember, you always have choice. It is your choice whether to take
a stand. You can establish and live with boundaries that create
self-respect and respect from others. And while doing this why not
add boundaries that create, joy, peace, balance, and love? Celebrate
your boundaries!
If you
want to learn more about this topic, I now offer coaching sessions
(in addition to my transformational services) where I tailor
attracting respect through boundaries in a way that personally meets
your needs. Are you interested? Email:
alice@healingpath.info.
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