Part one: Your relationship with others.

It is easy to be frustrated when we see someone’s potential fade due to what we view as their ‘bad’ choices. But that frustration isn’t helpful. The better way is to operate from a place of allowing. At the end of the day, those ‘bad’ choices are their's alone.

All of us have tendencies to want to fix people, to tell them what to do, and then we may become frustrated when our advice isn’t followed. It’s important to truly understand that even if they are making a ‘bad’ choice, it is their life and they have a right to their choices.

Would you like it if someone interfered with your life and choices? Probably not. Each of us are here on a spiritual journey, a process to learn and master personal aspects for our growth and spiritual elevation. When we interfere with someone’s life and choices, we may be taking an important lesson from them - a lesson that will have to be learned in another way. In reality, forcing our decisions on others can hurt instead of the intending helping. Forcing our solutions can keep them from moving forward and blazing new paths of personal growth.

It can be difficult, especially when it involves family members or a close friend, to allow without interference. I have had to watch people I know suffer with health issues because they do not want to work with me or seek alternative care – including some family members. Although difficult, I have to respect and allow their choices. I am at peace with this.

Why is this important? We do not have the knowledge to fully understand what each person is here to experience and learn. We don’t have all the answers about where each person currently is in their journey and what their next lesson might include. When we continue to fix, bail someone out, worry, and persuade - we are interfering with their journey. It is imperative that we allow other’s their journey. And when that allowing occurs without feelings of angst, we can more fully embrace our inner-peace.

I am reminded of the allegory of the carrot and cabbage: Both are growing in rows next to each other in a garden. Does the carrot say to the cabbage, “Hey, you should be like me; thin and protected under the ground,”? Does the cabbage say to the carrot, “You should be like me; opening to the world in a big way versus hiding under the earth,”? No. Both focus on their growth, instead of the growth of those around them. If all of us could be like the cabbage and the carrot, we would all have so much more harmony and less angst and stress in our world.

Allow others to be how they are, and allow yourself to be you. Simple yet profound.

All that energy that was used on trying to change someone, can now be devoted to you – someone who you can change! How perfect!

Just as I’d like to encourage you to allow other’s to make their choices, I also want to embolden you to make choices of your own. When someone repeatedly shows up to hurt you, ignores you, or are negative - you have a choice. You can choose to not spend a lot of time with them, to walk away, or allow them to walk away. Remember the old saying ‘people are in your life for a reason, season, or a lifetime’? If that season or reason comes to pass, embrace the natural parting. Often as old relationships come to a close, new ones have an opportunity to flourish.

Let’s not forget you in all of this. It is important to allow yourself the right to express your true self without hesitation. Allowing yourself to be a priority.

Next month I’ll continue this topic with: Allowing You to be You!